Blogger and vlogger Lily Pebbles tells Amy Dawson why she’s written a book about female friendship.
Lily Pebbles’ down-to-earth but stylish take on beauty and fashion has won her nearly half a million subscribers on YouTube in the eight years she’s been vlogging. Now she’s written her first book, The F Word, an exploration of female friendship.
‘Feeling like we can talk more openly about the love we have for each other is very special,’ says the 30- year-old. ‘It’s definitely the right time for that.’ Female friendship is certainly a hot topic. Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love and Kate Leaver’s The Friendship Cure are among other debuts on the subject, while The BFI is running another series of films (called Girlfriends, Part 2) about female camaraderie. After all, as Pebbles says: ‘A friendship break-up can be just as hard as romantic heartbreak because we love our friends just as much as we do a partner.’
We meet in a book-lined office nook inside her publishing house and she’s pulling no punches. ‘The more people talk about female friendship, the better for everyone,’ she declares. ‘I love it. I love reading about other people’s experiences.’ From childhood best buddies to long-distance friendships, from cross-generational solidarity to toxic fallouts, The F Word explores the glories and complexities of female friendship in all its guises.
But what about those of us who find making friends tough? ‘I don’t want anyone to read this book and be like, “Oh, I don’t have that many friends!”’ insists Pebbles. ‘It’s important to acknowledge what you do have: you don’t need to have a massive group or a BFF.’
Pebbles is aware social media and the internet can be both a help and a hindrance with friendship. ‘I think social media can make us a bit lazy,’ she says, ‘but for making friends it’s amazing – it opens up a whole new world of people who have similar interests to you.’ The #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have also shown us how crucial social media is in supporting others. ‘There’s been a massive shift online,’ says Pebbles. ‘Women show so much solidarity to each other.’ Female friendship in all its messy, magnificent complexity? That is definitely something to celebrate.
The F Word (Hodder & Stoughton) is out now